I’ve always felt a little “mixed” about naming vans, especially when the name is cute or catchy or punny. In my 20s, I took pride in the cool, fun, catchy names of my cars. First there was Sheldon, an Olds 98, then Fletcher (Toyota Corolla wagon), and Ruben (Ford Pinto). After that, naming my vehicles began to feel a little forced. Cars became a mode of transportation– and not a very permanent one at that. During my 20’s, I had 6 different vehicles. More than a few ended their run catastrophically, leaving me stranded. Not so cool, fun, or catchy.
When I bought my first brand new vehicle– my beloved 1992 four cylinder Nissan Truck, it was just that: “The truck”. It lasted 250k miles and rattled down many rough roads, that awesome vehicle. I think I may have named it at some point, but I never used that name and have since forgotten it.
I guess you might say, I grew up a bit. My twenties were hard-scrabble, maybe just hard. Then I was 30 something and there were babies and car seats and no time to consider cool or punny names.
In my forties, there were 12 years of commuting 200 miles a day and flat-out exhaustion. Gas mileage, and reliability were paramount to character and “cute”. I drove several zippy little sedans, none with names..
And so we come to the van– THE van. It is a Ford Econoline E350 extra long passenger van. It is black with the “barn doors” on the right side and ladder racks on top. It has a 5.4 liter v8 engine and an old-school vibe.
“THE Van.” That’s what we call it, usually.
We LOVE The Van.
It feels like a miracle when I pass it in the driveway as I leave for work. It is not merely a vehicle; it is an adventure, a future, a brand new way of life.
And as I slide into my current zippy sedan to make my current commute to work, I find myself giving the van (THE Van) an appreciative glance. “Good morning, Sir Van,” I say, “You’re looking mighty fine today.” And I mean it with all my heart.
Who knew a fifty five year old could fall so head over heels like that?
So perhaps “Sir Van” it is…., or, as The Van was once a farm vehicle for a friend’s Maple Syrup operation, “Syr Van” maybe….
What do you think?